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Good 'Gag' Rule By Devin Smith
Harvey Kash, 70, testified before the grand jury that he was expressing his First Amendment rights when he shared a few choice judicial gags with his friend Carl Lanzisera, 65, as they stood on line last month waiting to get into the Nassau County courthouse. MOCK TRIAL: Carl Lanzisera
(left) Court
officers claimed the two men had been
"How do you tell when a lawyer is lying?" Kash had asked Lanzisera. "His lips are moving," came the answer, and the pair howled in unison. The two men founders of Americans for Legal Reform said a lawyer in line ahead of them told them to "shut up" and reported them to court officers, who promptly arrested them. Kash and Lanzisera, both of Huntington, said their group used confrontational tactics to urge greater public access to the courts. "I'm a free man," an ecstatic Kash told The Post after the case was thrown out. "We beat 'em! The First Amendment is alive and well!" Kash said he was unbowed by the hassle and vowed to continue. "I'm going to keep telling those lawyer jokes 150 percent," he said. Other zingers in the Kash & Lanzisera repertoire: Q: What do you say to a lawyer with an IQ of 50? A: Good morning, Your Honor. Q: Why do they bury lawyers 100 feet into the ground? A: Because down deep, they're good people. Q: What's the difference between a vulture and a lawyer? A: Wing tips. Kash's affable attorney, talk-show host Ron Kuby, said the grand jury's punch line had tickled his client's funny bone. "It's still legal in America to tell jokes even about lawyers," Kuby said. "Maybe they'll have to put Lanzisera in a federal jokesters protection program, give him a new identity in Las Vegas, perhaps at some comedy club." Punch Line for Jokester: No Indictment by Grand Jury By Bruce Lambert GARDEN CITY, N.Y., Feb. 7 - A sidewalk comedian won over his toughest crowd yet on Monday when a grand jury declined to indict him on charges filed after he and a friend told lawyer jokes outside a courthouse, his lawyer said. The man, Harvey Kash, and the friend, Carl Lanzisera, were doing their routine last month while waiting in line outside Nassau County's First District Court in Hempstead when one bystander, who identified himself as a lawyer, complained. Court officers, who were also not amused, clapped handcuffs on the amateur comics and charged them with disorderly conduct. The men complained that their constitutional right to make fun of lawyers was being violated, and the case drew international attention. The radio talk show host Ron Kuby, himself a lawyer, defended the pair at no charge. "Of all the places that you would cherish freedom of speech, surely one is in the shadow of a courthouse," he said. Mr. Kash, 70, and Mr. Lanzisera, 65, Huntington residents who are active in Americans for Legal Reform, a group that for years has criticized lawyers and courts, said their case was an example of the legal system's excesses. A grand jury investigation into a offense like disorderly conduct, which technically does not qualify as a crime, is unheard of, Mr. Kuby said. The authorities dropped charges against Mr. Lanzisera and required him to testify, and Mr. Kash waived immunity from prosecution and also testified. Mr. Kuby, who accompanied Mr. Kash before the grand jury, said, "The prosecutor was extremely evenhanded, and the grand jury was remarkably independent." After a day of secret testimony in the Nassau County Courthouse here, Mr. Kuby said the authorities had told his office that the grand jury had declined to indict Mr. Kash. A spokeswoman for Denis E. Dillon, the Nassau County district attorney, said she could not comment because the proceedings were confidential. She said an announcement would be made in court on Tuesday. Mr. Kuby said, "What are they going to do, put Harvey in an undercover jokester protection program and relocate him to Vegas?" No
Joke: Jesters Appear Before Grand Jury By Zachary R. Dowdy
Lawyer-joke Pair in Court Two senior citizens busted last month for telling lawyer jokes outside a Long Island courthouse appeared before a grand jury yesterday. Harvey Kash, 70, and Carl Lanzisera, 65, tried to keep their sense of humor about the disorderly-conduct charge that could land Kash behind bars for up to 15 days. Prosecutors dropped the same charge against Lanzisera late last month, but he was also there to testify before the grand jury. On Jan. 10 the two friends self-styled activists who founded a group called Americans for Legal Reform told their jokes outside federal court in Hempstead. A lawyer standing in line told the pair to "shut up" then complained about them. Celebrity
NY Lawyer Offers New
York Lawyer NEW YORK -- A pair of senior citizens arrested for telling lawyer jokes at a Long Island courthouse have a new attorney who shares their sense of humor: Ron Kuby. Kuby, the radical lawyer and morning radio show host, volunteered on the air Thursday morning to handle the case of Harvey Kash and Carl Lanzisera without charge. The pair, in a phone call to WABC-AM radio during the Curtis and Kuby show, accepted his offer. Kuby wasted little time in raising the possibility of a civil suit for wrongful arrest on behalf of the pair, who were charged with disorderly conduct after their arrests Monday in a Hempstead courthouse. A spokesman for the Nassau County courts said their behavior was "abusive." "This case shouldn't even get to court, but after all, we are dealing with lawyers here," Kuby said after the program. "It's like the joke, `What do you say to a lawyer with an IQ of 50? Good morning, your honor."' Kash, 69, and his 65-year-old pal founded a group called "Americans for Legal Reform," which uses confrontational tactics to urge greater public access to the courts. They claim the arrest violated their First Amendment rights. Lanzisera -- egged on by Kuby and partner Curtis Sliwa -- used his radio appearance to tell a few more lawyer jokes. Kuby said he was already working on his opening statement for the pair's scheduled Feb. 8 court appearance: "Judge, take my clients -- please." Tell
a Lawyer Joke, Go to Jail? The Associated Press HEMPSTEAD, N.Y. - Did you hear the one about the two guys arrested for telling lawyer jokes? It happened this week to the founders of a group called Americans for Legal Reform, who were waiting in line to get into a Long Island courthouse. "How do you tell when a lawyer is lying?" Harvey Kash reportedly asked Carl Lanzisera. "His lips are moving," they said in unison. While some waiting to get into the courthouse giggled, a lawyer farther up the line Monday was not laughing. He told them to pipe down, and when they did not, the lawyer reported the pair to court personnel, who charged them with disorderly conduct, a misdemeanor. "They just cant take it," Kash said of lawyers in general. "This violates our First Amendment rights." Dan Bagnuola, a spokesman for the Nassau County courts, said the men were "being abusive and they were causing a disturbance." He said he did not have the name of the lawyer who complained. Americans for Legal Reform monitors the courts and uses confrontational tactics to push for greater access for the public. The pair said that for years they have stood outside courthouses on Long Island and mocked lawyers. On Monday, however, Kash said he was due in court to answer a drunken driving charge from a year and a half ago. The men are due back in court on the disorderly conduct charge next month. Pair Arrested
After Telling Lawyer Jokes
B y Zachary R. DowdyNewsday January 12, 2005 HEMPSTEAD NY - The line leading into First District Court in Hempstead Monday morning was long and frustrating, but it was the punch line in a lawyer joke that got two rabble-rousing comedians arrested. "How do you tell when a lawyer is lying?" Harvey Kash, 69, of Bethpage, said to Carl Lanzisera, 65, of Huntington, as the queue wound into the court. "His lips are moving," they said in unison, completing one of what may be thousands of standard lawyer jokes. But while that rib and several others on barristers got some giggles from the crowd, the attorney standing in line about five people ahead wasn't laughing. " 'Shut up,' the man shouted," Lanzisera said. "'I'm a lawyer.'" The attorney reported Kash and Lanzisera to court personnel, who arrested the men and charged them with engaging in disorderly conduct, a misdemeanor. "They put the handcuffs on us, brought us into a room, frisked us, sat us down and checked our driver's licenses to see if there were any warrants out for our arrest," Lanzisera said yesterday. "They were very nasty, extremely nasty." The men are founders of Americans for Legal Reform, a group of outspoken advocates who use confrontational tactics to push for greater access to courts for the public and to monitor how well courts serve the public. One tactic is driving a truck around the Huntington area emblazoned with the slogan "Stop The Lawyer Disease." They said their rights to free speech were violated Monday. But Dan Bagnuola, a spokesman for the Nassau courts, said the men were causing a stir and that their exercise of their First Amendment rights to free speech was impeding the rights of others at the court. "They were being abusive and they were causing a disturbance," Bagnuola said. "They were making general comments to the people on line, referring to them as 'peasants,' and they were causing a disturbance. And they were asked on several occasions to act in an orderly manner, not to interfere with the operation of the court." Bagnuola said he did not have the name of the lawyer who complained to officers. Kash said he and Lanzisera were merely saying out loud that the public was being treated like peons or peasants while attorneys, who wave their security passes to court officers and don't have to stand on line, are treated like kings. "I'm not surprised this happened because anybody who stands up for their rights is put down because these people want only one thing, and that is control," Kash said. The men were given desk appearance tickets and are due back in court - as defendants - next month. Court jesters Harvey Kash and Carl Lanzisera poked fun of lawyers while in line at First District Court in Hempstead yesterday - but court officers weren't laughing. Here are some of the jokes that got them in hot water: Q: What do you say to a lawyer with an IQ of 50? A: Good morning, Your Honor. Q: How do you tell if a lawyer is lying? A: His lips are moving. Q: Why do they bury lawyers 100 feet into the ground? A: Because down deep, they're good people. Q: What's the difference between a vulture and a lawyer? A: Wing tips. |
A
couple of jokers from Long Island got the last laugh yesterday after
a grand jury dismissed charges they had caused a disturbance when
they told lawyer jokes in front of an attorney. 
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A Feast
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